Friday, July 13, 2018

Old Masks


These tales of old disguisings, are they not
Strange myths of souls that found themselves among
Unwonted folk that spake an hostile tongue,
Some soul from all the rest who'd not forgot
The star-span acres of a former lot
Where boundless mid the clouds his course he swung,
Or carnate with his elder brothers sung
Ere ballad-makers lisped of Camelot?

Old singers half-forgetful of their tunes,
Old painters color-blind come back once more,
Old poets skill-less in the wind-heart runes,
Old wizards lacking in their wonder-lore:

All they that with strange sadness in their eyes
Ponder in silence o'er earth's queynt devyse? 

Sunday, July 8, 2018

"Telling is Listening" - Ursula K. Leguin on Communion


One of my favorite weekly e-zines is BRAIN PICKINGS by Maria Popova.  It is free to subscribe, well worth supporting when you can, and Ms. Popova is a deeply insightful writer and editor, whose reflections on culture, art and literature never fail to amaze and inspire me.  We also seem to share a love of the the writer Ursula K. LeGuin, whose work I have followed since her earliest books.  So I take the liberty of reproducing here one of Brain Pickings  most recent posts, because it deserves to be shared as much as possible.  



Telling Is Listening: Ursula K. Le Guin on the Magic of Real Human Conversation

Every act of communication is an act of tremendous courage in which we give ourselves over to two parallel possibilities: the possibility of planting into another mind a seed sprouted in ours and watching it blossom into a breathtaking flower of mutual understanding; and the possibility of being wholly misunderstood, reduced to a withering weed. Candor and clarity go a long way in fertilizing the soil, but in the end there is always a degree of unpredictability in the climate of communication — even the warmest intention can be met with frost. Yet something impels us to hold these possibilities in both hands and go on surrendering to the beauty and terror of conversation, that ancient and abiding human gift. And the most magical thing, the most sacred thing, is that whichever the outcome, we end up having transformed one another in this vulnerable-making process of speaking and listening.
Why and how we do that is what Ursula K. Le Guin (October 21, 1929–January 22, 2018) explores in a magnificent piece titled “Telling Is Listening” found in The Wave in the Mind: Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader, and the Imagination (public library), which also gave us her spectacular meditations on being a man and what beauty really means.
Ursula K. Le Guin by Benjamin Reed
In the spirit of Kurt Vonnegut’s diagrams of the shapes of stories, Le Guin argues that “our ruling concept of communication is a mechanical model,” which she illustrates thusly:
She explains:
Box A and box B are connected by a tube. Box A contains a unit of information. Box A is the transmitter, the sender. The tube is how the information is transmitted — it is the medium. And box B is the receiver. They can alternate roles. The sender, box A, codes the information in a way appropriate to the medium, in binary bits, or pixels, or words, or whatever, and transmits it via the medium to the receiver, box B, which receives and decodes it.
A and B can be thought of as machines, such as computers. They can also be thought of as minds. Or one can be a machine and the other a mind.
But the magic of human communication, Le Guin observes, is that something other than mere information is being transmitted — something more intangible yet more real:
In most cases of people actually talking to one another, human communication cannot be reduced to information. The message not only involves, it is, a relationship between speaker and hearer. The medium in which the message is embedded is immensely complex, infinitely more than a code: it is a language, a function of a society, a culture, in which the language, the speaker, and the hearer are all embedded.
Paralleling Hannah Arendt’s assertion that “nothing and nobody exists in this world whose very being does not presuppose a spectator,” Le Guin points out that all speech invariably presupposes a listener:
In human conversation, in live, actual communication between or among human beings, everything “transmitted” — everything said — is shaped as it is spoken by actual or anticipated response.
Live, face-to-face human communication is intersubjective. Intersubjectivity involves a great deal more than the machine-mediated type of stimulus-response currently called “interactive.” It is not stimulus-response at all, not a mechanical alternation of precoded sending and receiving. Intersubjectivity is mutual. It is a continuous interchange between two consciousnesses. Instead of an alternation of roles between box A and box B, between active subject and passive object, it is a continuous intersubjectivity that goes both ways all the time.
In a sentiment that calls to mind Nikki Giovanni’s magnificent ode to what amoebas know about love that we don’t, Le Guin writes:
My private model for intersubjectivity, or communication by speech, or conversation, is amoebas having sex. As you know, amoebas usually reproduce by just quietly going off in a corner and budding, dividing themselves into two amoebas; but sometimes conditions indicate that a little genetic swapping might improve the local crowd, and two of them get together, literally, and reach out to each other and meld their pseudopodia into a little tube or channel connecting them.
This, too, she illustrates with a diagram:
In an exquisite passage at the intersection of biology, anthropology, and sheer literary genius, Le Guin elaborates:
Then amoeba A and amoeba B exchange genetic “information,” that is, they literally give each other inner bits of their bodies, via a channel or bridge which is made out of outer bits of their bodies. They hang out for quite a while sending bits of themselves back and forth, mutually responding each to the other.
This is very similar to how people unite themselves and give each other parts of themselves — inner parts, mental not bodily parts—when they talk and listen. (You can see why I use amoeba sex not human sex as my analogy: in human hetero sex, the bits only go one way. Human hetero sex is more like a lecture than a conversation. Amoeba sex is truly mutual because amoebas have no gender and no hierarchy. I have no opinion on whether amoeba sex or human sex is more fun. We might have the edge, because we have nerve endings, but who knows?)
Two amoebas having sex, or two people talking, form a community of two. People are also able to form communities of many, through sending and receiving bits of ourselves and others back and forth continually — through, in other words, talking and listening. Talking and listening are ultimately the same thing.
Reminding us that literacy is an incredibly nascent invention and still far from universal, Le Guin considers the singular and immutable power of spoken conversation in fostering a profound mutuality by syncing our essential vibrations:
Speech connects us so immediately and vitally because it is a physical, bodily process, to begin with. Not a mental or spiritual one, wherever it may end.
If you mount two clock pendulums side by side on the wall, they will gradually begin to swing together. They synchronise each other by picking up tiny vibrations they each transmit through the wall.
Any two things that oscillate at about the same interval, if they’re physically near each other, will gradually tend to lock in and pulse at exactly the same interval. Things are lazy. It takes less energy to pulse cooperatively than to pulse in opposition. Physicists call this beautiful, economical laziness mutual phase locking, or entrainment.
All living beings are oscillators. We vibrate. Amoeba or human, we pulse, move rhythmically, change rhythmically; we keep time. You can see it in the amoeba under the microscope, vibrating in frequencies on the atomic, the molecular, the subcellular, and the cellular levels. That constant, delicate, complex throbbing is the process of life itself made visible.
We huge many-celled creatures have to coordinate millions of different oscillation frequencies, and interactions among frequencies, in our bodies and our environment. Most of the coordination is effected by synchronising the pulses, by getting the beats into a master rhythm, by entrainment.
[…]
Like the two pendulums, though through more complex processes, two people together can mutually phase-lock. Successful human relationship involves entrainment — getting in sync. If it doesn’t, the relationship is either uncomfortable or disastrous.

This entrainment, Le Guin argues, occurs organically and constantly, often below our conscious awareness and beyond willful intention:
Consider deliberately sychronised actions like singing, chanting, rowing, marching, dancing, playing music; consider sexual rhythms (courtship and foreplay are devices for getting into sync). Consider how the infant and the mother are linked: the milk comes before the baby cries. Consider the fact that women who live together tend to get onto the same menstrual cycle. We entrain one another all the time.
[…]
Listening is not a reaction, it is a connection. Listening to a conversation or a story, we don’t so much respond as join in — become part of the action.
[…]
When you can and do entrain, you are synchronising with the people you’re talking with, physically getting in time and tune with them. No wonder speech is so strong a bond, so powerful in forming community.
Illustration from ‘Donald and the…’ by Edward Gorey. Click image for more.
In a complement to Susan Sontag’s terrific treatise on the the aesthetics of silence, Le Guin considers the singular nature of sound:
Sound signifies event. A noise means something is happening. Let’s say there’s a mountain out your window. You see the mountain. Your eyes report changes, snowy in winter, brown in summer, but mainly just report that it’s there. It’s scenery. But if you hear that mountain, then you know it’s doing something. I see Mount St. Helens out my study window, about eighty miles north. I did not hear it explode in 1980: the sound wave was so huge that it skipped Portland entirely and touched down in Eugene, a hundred miles to the south. Those who did hear that noise knew that something had happened. That was a word worth hearing. Sound is event.
Speech, the most specifically human sound, and the most significant kind of sound, is never just scenery, it’s always event.
This event of speech, Le Guin argues, is the most potent form of entrainment we humans have — and the intimate tango of speaking and listening is the stuff of great power and great magic:
When you speak a word to a listener, the speaking is an act. And it is a mutual act: the listener’s listening enables the speaker’s speaking. It is a shared event, intersubjective: the listener and speaker entrain with each other. Both the amoebas are equally responsible, equally physically, immediately involved in sharing bits of themselves.
[…]
The voice creates a sphere around it, which includes all its hearers: an intimate sphere or area, limited in both space and time.
Creation is an act. Action takes energy.
Sound is dynamic. Speech is dynamic — it is action. To act is to take power, to have power, to be powerful. Mutual communication between speakers and listeners is a powerful act. The power of each speaker is amplified, augmented, by the entrainment of the listeners. The strength of a community is amplified, augmented by its mutual entrainment in speech.
[…]
This is why utterance is magic. Words do have power. Names have power. Words are events, they do things, change things. They transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it. They feed understanding or emotion back and forth and amplify it.
Art by Sydney Pink from Overcoming Creative Block
In a sentiment that calls to mind Anna Deavere Smith on the art of listening between the lines, Le Guin argues that this entrainment and our intuitive expectations around it are at the heart of how and why great art compels us:
In the realm of art … we can fulfill our expectations only by learning which authors disappoint and which authors offer the true nourishment for the soul. We find out who the good writers are, and then we look or wait for their next book. Such writers — living or dead, whatever genre they write in, critically fashionable or not, academically approved or not — are those who not only meet our expectations but surpass them. That is the gift the great storytellers have. They tell the same stories over and over (how many stories are there?), but when they tell them they are new, they are news, they renew us, they show us the world made new.
[…]
So people seek the irreproducible moment, the brief, fragile community of story told among people gathered together in one place. So children gather at the library to be read to: look at the little circle of faces, blazing with intensity. So the writer on a book tour, reading in the bookstore, and her group of listeners reenact the ancient ritual of the teller at the center of the circle. The living response has enabled that voice to speak. Teller and listener, each fulfills the other’s expectations. The living tongue that tells the word, the living ear that hears it, bind and bond us in the communion we long for in the silence of our inner solitude.
The Wave in the Mind, which borrows its title from Virginia Woolf’s timeless meditation on writing and consciousness, is one of the most intelligent, insightful, and profoundly pleasurable books you can ever hope to read — the kind guaranteed to far surpass any expectations seeded in this very sentence.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

At the Breast of Bast



                            "The door is open now, wide open. The moon is bright.
                           I see you, I see you now, safe at the warm breast of Bast."

The Egyptians loved their cats, and mummified felines protected by BAST have been found buried with their human companions. BAST, cat-headed Goddess of ancient Egypt, was playful, graceful, mysterious, inspiring and protective, a  guardian against evil influences with Her ability to see in the dark.

Yesterday I had to put my old friend, Sweet Pea, to sleep.  She has been with me, and travelled through many hard times, for 15 years, and she lived with cancer for 3 of them.  But when she got to the point where she couldn't eat or even stand, I knew it was time to let her go home to the breast of Bast, mother of all cats.  I think it will be strange to see her empty bowl for a long time, our conversations silent now, no Sweet Pea on the end of my bed.   Life, especially when you get older, is full of loss, but the loss of my animal friends is no less hard than the loss of human friends.

Bast, bring her home.

I found a story on my old website of another cat, Shiloh, who also travelled with me for years, back when I had a nomad's life.  Felt like sharing it.  I still feel the loss of my friend Sweet Pea too closely to write of her.............except that she taught me a lot about love.  And she was a Russian Blue.  I miss her.

SHILOH'S STORY
(1998)

When I left my home in New York, my former husband and I sat at our usual restaurant having breakfast together for the last time. I remember saying that I wished I had a cat to travel with me.

Within minutes, among the magenta cosmos blooming in the flowerbox outside that old New York diner, I noticed two kittens chasing each other. One of them, a white kitten, paused and looked directly at me through the glass; rearing on his hind legs, he scratched his paws on the window before leaping off. Needless to say, I asked the cook about this feline visitation. Within minutes, he returned with a terrified, half-siamese feral kitten in a box; the very one I had seen, one of many they fed from scraps at the restaurant. And when I left my home that day, I was accompanied by a small being in a box who was also leaving home.

As I drove South, I passed the civil war battlefield at Shiloh. It was a strange, white, fog-shrouded day, a landscape with no visibility, adrift with spirits. My new companion became Shiloh, the Ghost Cat. Because, as I passed through that place of unquiet memory, I found myself passing through my own no-man's land, a transitional border world that also seemed inhabited by ghosts. The years that followed were wandering years, seeking a new home and new self, having many adventures in my van. And Shiloh was always with me, riding with his friendly little cat paws on my shoulder as he sat on the back of my seat.

Shortly after I settled in California Shiloh was hit by a car. I have many, many times missed his wise animal love.

Now I have a back door that faces an empty lot, inhabited by a nocturnal tribe of feral cats. As they always run away from me, several weeks ago I was surprised when a sickly kitten stood meowing before the door. When I opened it, he walked in, and even briefly let me touch him as I placed a bowl of food before him. I hoped he or she would come back.

As I write this, I'm making a mask for Bast, the Cat Goddess of ancient Egypt. Because this morning, as I opened the door, the kitten lay barely breathing on my doorstep. The vet told me he was too ill to survive, and so I was forced to put him to sleep. I do not know why he came to me to die. I feel saddened, yet also honored. I think of him, and I think of Shiloh, as I make this mask, as I bury this little life. Not all Goddesses wear human forms.

"The door is open now, wide open. The moon is bright.
I see you, I see you now, safe at the warm breast of Bast."

Sunday, July 1, 2018

A moment of Beauty........

This is one of my favorite scenes from any movie.  In "Immortal

https://youtu.be/_AT8Mi1mYQ4

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

"A House of Doors"


An onion, that's it.  All those layers

just when you think you can name yourself,
you discover new layers,
you’re forming a new skin,
a new ring.

But there's a core.
And where does that core start?

My MFA show in 1987 was called "A House of Doors", and I made, with the collaboration and generosity of artist and fellow graduate student Catherine Nash MFA,  a spoken word/electronic music  "sound track" to go with the paintings and lithographs that comprised the show. Catherine is an extraordinary artist whose work has always opened doors into other realms.  And  1987 was an exciting time to be alive, an optimistic time  when all kinds of inquiries into spirituality and consciousness were developing in the New Age era.  Catherine and I belonged to a group interested in exploring altered states of consciousness and other spiritual explorations, and from that group also came a show about art and spirituality.  We discussed people like Wassily Kandinsky and his book "Concerning the Spiritual in Art".  We meditated together, and did numerous sessions with Bob Monroe's Past Life Regression tapes - those shared visions were very significant for me, and became the inspiration for my show and performance piece  "A House of Doors" below:




Sometimes, you open a door, 
any door 

and you have to walk outside
into something tender,
like a touch on a winter night
into a quiet yard

because of a voice that you hear 
or a bell
or a train
pulling away
somewhere




Saturday, June 23, 2018

Michael - a Synchronicity


The painting above is an unfinished painting that has been dominating my studio for some 2 years now. *** For some reason I just can't finish it, but I do love it.  It is dedicated to Archangel Michael.  The painting is life size, and although I can't seem to resolve it all, I love the face, and sometimes, I swear, I really do feel Michael is looking at me.  I wanted to paint Michael not as some great Renaissance era archetype with huge  wings and a flaming sword, but as He might manifest as a human, perhaps as a beautiful young man with intense eyes,  sitting at a table drinking coffee......and at the same time as He abides in unimaginable grandeur between the stars themselves.  I hope He's pleased with my humble efforts to honor him.    Sometimes the expression seems like a smile, warm and amused.  Other times, it seems the face of  an implacable warrior.  For me it changes, and I confess, I often find myself talking to Michael.  The painting gives me a focus.  

I don't know what Archangels are, and I'm not Christian.  But for many years I have invoked, and requested the help,  of Michael, for protection, for healing for those beset by negative energies and entities, to send the earthbound souls  to the light,  to cleanse my home, to strengthen me and all those who are beset, or  seek to resist,  evil in whatever form it occurs.  Many times  have requested help from Michael to help a certain  family member beset by addiction, as well as to protect me from his emotional and psychic violence.  And I have seen this person change, miraculously.  So here is an "everyday miracle", a synchronicity I feel enchanted and blessed by.  

I found myself depressed the other morning, overwhelmed once again by the ugliness and corruption of what is going on in this country now.  The usual negation settled over me like a cloud, it often goes like this  "why make art when there is such horror and suffering in the world?  What hope is there for anything now, old woman, who is going to care whether you make ceramic Goddesses or not?"  Yes, we all have those defeating, malevolent voices in our heads.

Feeling sorry for myself, I noticed, exactly placed in front of the door, a perfect feather.  It was maybe 7:00 in the a.m., and I had to laugh........because I often find mysterious feathers in strange places, and I have come to feel that they are a sign, an "angelic" sign.  Encouragement.  Later in the day, I saw that someone had called me at 7:30 in the morning, which was unusual.  It was my old friend Michael S., from California. 

Michael calls me about once every 5 years or so!  We talk on the rare occasions I visit him in California, and exchange a rare email now and then.  Recently, I posted some photos of a new series of ceramic mosaic sculptures I'm undertaking, with a bit of trepidation because they are ambitious.  Michael, who in many ways I always felt lived up to his name, had called to tell me that he had an image about my efforts, that he saw me doing a big mosaic sculpture on a wall!  Always practical, he added that I probably could make some money doing that.

I definately feel encouraged, and I'll take this as not only the encouragement of a friend, but a Celestial Encouragement as well!

*** Two years later (4/15/2020) I can say now that I did finish the painting (it's above), framed it, and put it in my living room with a spot light.  Sometimes I swear the expression on Michael's face seems to change............


The Michael Invocation
by  Ama Nazra 


Archangel Michael,
Remove all attachments from me,
All negative energy forms,
All negative thought forms,
All heavy energy forms.
All intruders and mischief makers,
All astral forces and dominants,
All small demons and large demons,
including succubus and incubus.
All living humans who try to steal my energy,
Or do me any other harm,
Find all humans in Spirit who are Lost around me,
and take them Home.
Remove all threads and bindings
All cords and ties
All chains and devices of any kind
All curses and hexes on any level
And all karmic patterns which are 'self'-defeating
And karmic links that are no longer needed
Return me to my perfect energy now please

I ask this in the name of the Divine,
Thank you.



Where it came from ...

I've been using and adapting the Michael Invocation for the past fifteen years as a means of clearing people's energy, and the energy of their homes and other buildings. The Invocation has changed over time, as the situations people have found themselves in have become more difficult to manage, or more complicated to understand. It has never failed to provide relief on many levels - though the relief will only continue if a person chooses not to repeat the old patterns of behaviour that first got them haunted.

The above is by  Ama Nazra  from the website Sacred Gates/Victorian Paranormal Connection.  Please visit the link below to read more:



Friday, June 22, 2018

Saraswati, Mangoes, and a Butterfly


                               Mango Season 

Struggling with unexpected fate
my tropical imagination
carries me still,
wanders 
among volcanic archipelagos,
remembers the Island of the Gods
in mango season.

Here, heat rises
from waterless pavements.
I walk to the "Memory Care" unit
the long beige hallway, too familiar now.
Bewildered eyes regard me from wheelchairs.
The old man says, 
"Take me home. I don't belong here".
If I could,
if I only could,
I would take us all home.
Instead, I bring fruit
to share
imagining for them
mango season
in all its splendor.

                              (2010)

Lately I've been looking back at old poems, old performance, archiving and re-discovering them as not only souvenirs of my past, but bits of myself that have become lost and need to be re-glued into the scrape book (or epic) of my life.  To be honest, I am also sometimes so overwhelmed by the ugliness of what is happening in this country that I go back to find strength in Beauty.  Careless I used to be, taking so much for granted.........but now I find my memories a treasure, and I praise the Beauties  I've been privileged to see, taste, hear.  

 I was a caretaker for my mother and my brother for years, and became familiar with nursing homes, watching strong people diminish as their souls gradually withdrew from this plane of being......and I had many days spent running urban errands, my vista a hot parking lot or a Fry's pharmacy.  Into the picture window of my mind at such times would often come the strangest and most vivid landscapes:  Bali and the great black volcano Kintamani  I once stood before,  or the sweet, sensual shapes of ripe mangoes, their great generosity and abundance always offered.  These poems come from that time. 

Love is Saraswati's river
flowing through our lands.
She will feed the rice fields,
She will accept our woven offerings.

She will bear our ashes
and the fires of Kintamani
to the sea.


Formless, she neither takes nor gives;
we impose these significances
upon the flowers we cast in her. 


From birth to death,
Saraswati's river sustains us to the sea.


                                 
a butterfly
hovers before me
in a parking lot 
no less a messenger of hope, 
vanishing at last
into some blue distance:
whole, winged,
always going home

 (2009)