Tuesday, May 26, 2015
I love this series of short films produced by some of Hollywood's most well loved actors - they lend voice to Gaia, to the Forces of Nature. Truly love them, and urge anyone who hasn't seen them to see them, and share them. What Gaia has to say is...........very important.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Thursday, May 21, 2015
“What might we see, how might we act, if we saw with a webbed vision? The world seen through a web of relationships…....as delicate as spider’s silk, yet strong enough to hang a bridge on.”
Catherine Keller, From a Broken Web
I've spent so much of my life on the road, in transit to places ........... crossing the country to get to shows, and often just following the roads of a restless spirit I may have inherited from my father, who moved our family across the country and around the world. I suppose clinicians would diagnose me (as I think they would many creative types) as having a bad case of ADD (which I have a different perspective on anyway). But I think, as the poet Bard Robin Williamson said, there are those who "find rest in journeying", and that state of being "in transit" is a special liminal zone where magic can happen, minds can open, and the Great Conversation can be more eloquent.
So I've been traveling to Los Angeles, doing an exhausting guest artist appearance at the Renaissance Faire, and in the course of that trip some surprising synchronicities have occurred.
|"Changing Woman" (2014)|
I find I am impatient, and expressing anger in ways that I would not have done in the past - hence, for good or ill, various relationships have ended. I think, perhaps, that with the passing of my mother, and really the end of my family (there is no extended family) I'm trying to change the "family karma", the roles and patterns, that have gone forward in me. The dis-functional ones - along with this maturation process is genuine gratitude for all that my mother, my family, gave me as well.
The previous article I posted reflects, perhaps, some of the darker aspects of that self-examination.
I find that I am also trying to re-connect with, and evaluate, the projects, themes, and inspirations that were so important to me in the past - apart from and before I became so involved with the concerns of caretaking. My "Hands of Spider Woman Project", the Masks of the Goddess Collection.............what is authentic still, what is not? What do I love? How must I simplify my life now to regain that passion, that excitement about my art?
Where are my "power leaks", how am I "vamped", my time and energy drained away so that what I love to do...........I don't do. What am I doing that I think I "should" do, but don't really want to do anymore, and what "should" I be doing that genuinely gives me happiness. In other words, it may also be time to stop being a sad saint, and be a happy camper instead.
So my syncros.............
The Renfair is in Santa Fe Dam in Los Angeles, a beautiful park with an impressive view of the mountains that ring the city. On the other side of the park from the Faire is a nature walk, and an area I always return to when the show is not on. It has beautiful indigenous plants, and a sandy area with a stone circle. I walked into the circle, made some offerings, and created a circle and cross with some stones in the center, representing the 5 directions - a kind of prayer, a way of centering myself.
When the show opened the next day, my booth opened onto a sandy path, and in the heat and the hum of voices passing by, it can get rather hypnotic, unless I'm working with a customer. Sitting in the back of the booth, I noticed there was a man with a carved staff of some kind in front of my booth. Right in front of my booth, in the sand, he made a circle with a cross in it with his staff in the sand! I watched him do it, then he walked off and disappeared in the crowd.
It was not only the symbol I had created the previous day, the symbol of the 4 directions, but this is also a Native American motif called "Spider Woman's Cross".
It occurs on prehistoric Mississippian amulets, in Pueblo pottery, and is woven into Navajo (Dine) rugs as a sacred motif representing Grandmother Spider Woman. It is an ubiquitous symbol of balance, wholeness, unity. It's also a symbol I've explored in my own humble way with my projects exploring the mythologies of Spider Woman - because I feel She is very important for our time.
So it gets better. On Monday, after the Faire closed, I was leaving L.A. via I-10. Leaving L.A. is no small feat, as L.A. is huge, with many suburbs that go on for a good 50 miles. I saw, near the exits for Fontana, a banner that caught my attention - I didn't have time to see the building it was attached to, but I'm assuming it was over a park of some kind. It read:
SPIDER WOMAN'S LEGACY
Navajo Rugs (.............)
I see, according to Google, that there is an exhibit in San Bernardino country called "Spider Woman's Legacy: Navajo Rugs and Textiles,”
In my experience, this is one of Spider Woman's favorite ways to communicate.......with synchronicities!
My last syncro occurred once I crossed the Arizona border, travelling east on I-10. I had been thinking as I drove about the article I posted last on this Blog, about the meaning of Psychic Vampires. And about, also, my personal efforts to grow out of a "victim stance" in my own life. How I've missed so many opportunities, devalued my work, sustained a great deal of loss because that sensibility is so deeply rooted in my family of origin. How I've been kind of my own "vampire" by having that sensibility, and how it has to end now and here.
Seriously...........I was meditating at the wheel on all of this and looked up to see an elaborately painted van in front of me. It read:
KUNG FU VAMPIRE
Well Damn! What more affirmation do I need! Just to make sure though, when I pulled up at a rest area an hour later, there was the van, right in front of me, again.
Kung Fu Vampire is apparently a gothic/punk rapper from San Jose, currently touring. I looked up the site, which was pretty awful and dark not to mention misogynist. Not my aesthetic, but I don't really need to listen to the music to get the message from the syncro.............
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Synchronistically, I received a comment from someone (below) addressed to a post I wrote back in 2011 about Empaths and Energy protection. It moved me to re-post the article, realizing that I need to read it again myself. I'm looking forward to the chance to be alone this summer, and to replenish my energies and revive my creativity. I have always pretty much known I'm an empath.
"How do you deal with those who are energetically parasitic? It seems like you and a couple other sources, seem to defend people who make choices to take on a victim mentality, and use manipulative tactics to steal energy and attention. I agree these people obviously lack love, but to some extent they need to realize that and take necessary steps towards healing, and emotional maturity...like people like us chose to do. Hard to support their habits...hard to understand why we support their victim mentality drain....please explain. Much love to you."
But I do believe that most people are unconscious of their motives, drives, attractions, or even needs. Self-awareness requires work, breaking old familial patterns requires effort, and sometimes to break those patterns requires a fair amount of education and the help of good therapy, as well as seeing through social patterns that often support negative behavior in order to come to terms with one's "shadow side". No one wants to admit that they are draining others, that they are dependant on others attention and energy, that they don't care about the well being of another as long as they are being "fed", that they are manipulating others, that they are destructive because of jealousy, addiction, etc.
The ability to change, to mature into real conscience and self sufficiency.........is actually something only exceptional people are able to do.
I know that sounds harsh, but I am tending to feel that the drift of our culture is increasingly away from self-examination, conscience, and empathy. The "disposibility" of our world has made that so. How else can such a vast population be uninterested in climate change, in the loss of endless species, in the destruction that future generations much live with? This is true in social relations as well.
As far as the energy draining "victim stance", I think also that is also often socially condoned. And of course it's necessary to make a distinction between people who are genuinely victimized by circumstances and in genuine need of healing and empowerment.
I'm talking about people who are "vampires" because of their unconcious dedication to seeing themselves as "victims". Which can not only be a ploy for exploiting the energy reserves of others, but is also somewhat socially accepted. If you are a "victim" you don't need to take responsibility for what you do or what happens to you, because it's "not your fault". Such people remain dependant children, unable to move forward - but they rarely are able to understand that process. You can get a lot of mileage from others by being a "victim", and you can also belong to victim social clubs that reinforce the sanctity of your eternally wounded position. If someone rejects you, it's because they are "unkind" and lack empathy.........and empaths are the best source of energy!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
I've found myself reviewing old posts on this Blog lately. Here is a synchonicity I recorded back in 2009 that has special meaning for me now, as I approach just three months since my mother died.
I've been so busy this year with endless tasks, money making, responsibilities to others, caretaking..........I have not given myself time to see that the magic has gone away, or to notice how tired and empty I often feel because of it. Personally, life without magic is, well, not really worth living Time to "go dark" as my friend Valerie puts it, to unplug, drop out, and listen to spirit once again. I'm leaving for points unknown, just driving East in June, no matter what..........hope to end up at Brushwood and Lilydale along the way. Some of us find rest in journeying, and healing of grief in the stories of transit. I miss my mother, especially since it was just Mothers Day.
A month or so ago, my therapist, Jeaneen, asked me what archetype I thought my mother was. I couldn't answer, any more than I could have said which archetypes informed who or what my own life stories have been. So I put the question off for "later examination".
Yesterday I was looking at a photo I had placed on my altar, next to the photo of my brother. And I realized suddenly (actually, while at the riverbend hotsprings, which is a good place to get great ideas while inconveniently wet).........that a syncronicity had supplied the answer to my "for later examination" question. Sometimes, things work that way, once you begin to notice.Reviewing much of the stories in this blog, I see that I'm always recording and wondering at such phenomenon. The mythic dimension leaking through..........
The photo was taken in 2004 at the opening to an exhibit of my masks (which I shared with artist Catherine Nash MFA). Valerie James, an artist who lives in Amado, took the photo randomly. I kept it around because it's the most recent photo I have of my mom and me together...the last photo I have of her when she was fully here, fully cognizant, to be exact. And now Jeaneen's question is also within the frame of this photo, as well, perhaps, within the frame of having placed it upon an altar and thus imbuing it with sacred attention ..... at any rate, a serendipitous truth emerges that answers the question about archetypes.
My mother has the "Corn Mother" mask above her. That archetype of unconditional, self-sacrificing, idealized motherly love, devoted to the nurturance of her children without any limitations - is the very truth of what my mother has devoted herself to, both consciously and unconsciously, with its bright and "shadow" sides. She has lived the story of Selu. And for me, the picture could not be more appropriate. Above me, Spider Woman, the weaver, higher Self, the artist and divine co-creator, dedication to a vision of ecology, my most tangible mythos of deity. And beside me, Butterfly Woman, my personal "life story" archetype. "La Mariposa" is a story I wrote more than 15 years ago. And here in this photo........is one more living metaphor, one more poem about our journey together.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
“…the word saga has been translated out of its original meaning, which was ‘She-Who-Speaks,’ that is, an oracular priestess, such as were formerly associated with sacred poetry. The literal meaning of saga was ‘female sage.’ The written sagas of Scandinavia were originally sacred histories kept by female sagas or ‘sayers,’ who knew how to write them in runic script. Among northern tribes, men were usually illiterate. Writing and reading the runes were female occupations. Consequently, runes were associated with witchcraft by medieval Christian authorities. To them, saga became a synonym for witch.
”Barbara G. Walker, The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power(San Francisco: Harper and; Row, Publishers, 1985), p. 52.
I was thinking about not so long ago about the depths that aging brings to the so-called "dark and light" within the stories of our lives, weaving, hopefully, an increasingly visible gestalt. And one of my favorite words, "Compost" ( derived from the town of Compostella, wherein a famous "black Madonna" is housed)..... is another, more organic word for "Transmutation" wherein "gold" is distilled. Composting is the alchemy of life, going on all the time within the depths of Earth. Just as this process is going on in the depths of our souls and psyches as well. Or should be..............
I love contemplating what I can learn about the roots of words. For example, the word "witch" is related to "wicca", "wicker", and "wick", words that relate to the life force, a flame, and weaving. Following this thread (!) I was wondering if there was another word for the "Crone" archetype (I just don't vibrate with calling myself a "crone" somehow. It's kind of like calling myself a "scone", full of old crumbly crust, no teeth, and, culturally, implies being a useless old woman.)
I remembered a Saga Storytelling Festival I was once invited to attend. "Saga" is a Scandinavian word that means "a long, ancestral or heroic story" with many threads. According to the dictionary, "Saga" is:
1. a. Any of the narrative compositions in prose that were written in Iceland or Norway during the middle ages; in English use often applied spec. to those which embody the traditional history of Icelandic families or of the kings of Norway….
b. transf. A narrative having the (real or supposed) characteristics of the Icelandic sagas; a story of heroic achievement or marvellous adventure. Also, a novel or series of novels recounting the history of a family through several generations, as The Forsyte Saga, etc.
Now freq. in weakened use, a long and complicated (account of a) series of more or less loosely connected events.
”The Oxford English Dictionary, 2nd ed. (1989), s.v. “saga.”
According to mythologist Barbara Walker, Saga also means "She Who Speaks". Similar to the masculine "Sage", a Saga is a wise old woman, a female mentor and teacher. She-Who-Speaks is the potent teller of story, because she embodies, within her long life, a long, interwoven, generational, story - a Saga. Perhaps the male counterpoint is "Sage".
"As you read a book word by word and page by page, you participate in its creation, just as a cellist playing a Bach suite participates, note by note, in the creation, the coming-to-be, the existence, of the music. And, as you read and re-read, the book of course participates in the creation of you, your thoughts and feelings, the size and temper of your soul.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin
A Saga holds a thread that weaves through many lives into the distant past. In the telling she casts her warp and weft with her telling forward into the lives of Sagas to come.
Another one of Spider Woman's many names!
Monday, May 4, 2015
noticed that everything
an Indian does is in a circle, and that
is because the Power of the World always
works in circles, and everything tries to be round. In
the old days when we were a strong and happy people, all
our power came to us from the sacred hoop of the nation, and
as long as the hoop was unbroken, the people flourished. The
flowering tree was the living center of the hoop and the circle of the
four quarters nourished it. The east gave peace and light, the south
gave warmth, the west gave rain, and the north with its cold and mighty
wind gave strength and endurance. Everything the Power of the World does
is in a circle. The sky is round and I have heard that the Earth is round like a
ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds
make their nests in circles. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a
circle. The moon does the same, and both are round. Even the seasons
form a great Circle in their changing, and always come back again
to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood
to childhood, and so is everything where Power moves. Our
teepees were round like the nests of birds, and these were
always set in a circle, the nation's hoop, a nest of
many nests, where the Great Spirit meant
for us to hatch our children.