Thursday, September 10, 2026

Crow Woman (Part 2.) by Anandha Ray

 

(This post continues, from the Previous Post, the "Story of Crow Woman" by Anandha Ray.)

Part III: When the Ink Runs Low

She comes again without announcement, as she always has, not from sky or soil, but from that place just behind your noticing.  You feel her before you see her, a quiet shift in the air, a gentle rearranging of time.

Much has been written since you first understood the quill was yours. The pages have gathered behind you, carrying the marks of all you have chosen, endured, released, and loved. Now, as you look toward what remains, you notice how little ink is left. Not with fear, but with a new awareness of its preciousness. Like breath at the end of a long-held note, you wonder if it will be enough to reach the end of the song.

When you turn, she is already there. A knowing gaze, compassionate with a strong back. She watches the question forming within you: not whether there is enough time, but what is worthy of the time that remains.

This time she carries something.

It rests in her hand as though it has always belonged there. The blade is small, pale as moonlit stone, its edge revealing more than it reflects. This alabaster blade holds the quiet purity of what has been refined over time, a clarity that cuts through illusion with reverence rather than force. The handle is worn smooth, shaped by years that do not count themselves in numbers. You recognize it without ever having seen it.

An athamé.

Immediately you feel the longing of attachment to all that still matters, all that still tugs at your heart. Words rise, wanting to explain the need for more ink to write into being those things that have not become what you had hoped. Her eyes meet yours, and the words fall away. Between you, something older than language moves.

“You have mistaken holding for loving.”

The truth lands softly and opens something deep within you.

She steps closer and lifts the athamé in reverence. “I have carried this since I stood at the altar as a young priestess,” she says. “I was taught that devotion is not proven by how tightly we grasp… but rather by how cleanly we release.”

You sense it now, the weight of what you have been holding for too long. Unseen cords that stretch from your body into the world. You feel them. Old connections. Lingering pulls. Memories that no longer serve. Hopes that hardened into control. Fears that quietly ask for your energy. The many illusions that presented themselves as truth, until they became what you believed. Some shimmer with beauty. Some drain. Some have long since completed their purpose and remain only out of habit.

She does not choose for you. She simply waits.

“Are you ready?”

Something within you softens. You feel it in your body, the difference between what nourishes and what depletes, between what is alive and what is only remembered as alive. Knowing what to do, you stand and open your arms. She moves the blade slowly through the air surrounding your body.

“All of these threads are here because you once allowed them,” she says. “And not all are meant to continue. Some were sacred for a season. Some taught you how to love. Some taught you how to survive. Some were never yours, only carried for a time.”

The blade moves cleanly through what no longer belongs. Not in loss, but in clarity. With each release, something returns. Space. Breath. Energy. Presence. Peace. There is no tearing, only a quiet exhale, like breath finally leaving lungs that have held too long. Your body responds to the weight of truth.

When you sit again, something has changed. What once felt like more than the remaining ink could carry, has quieted. You feel the quiet of knowing, shaped by all you have lived, the sorrows and the celebrations, the breaking and the becoming. There is peace here, and a silent understanding that nothing has been wasted.

You look at the quill. The ink that remains does not feel scarce. It feels precise. True.

“There is peace here,” she says. “Not because everything became what you hoped, but because you have allowed everything to become what it is.”

She steps back, her form loosening into shadow and wing. “Write now from what remains,” she says. “From what is.”

You bend to the page, no longer reaching for what you had hoped, but honoring what is. The courage to witness truth. Only this.

And somewhere above you, in a deep rhythm of wings moving through air, a crow circles. The sound of her wings echoes through your bones… revealing the silent knowing that is now yours. She claims you as one who has become the witness, a keeper of wisdom and of what endures. One who now stands among the few, inside the living circle of those who have learned to remember. 



Part IV: The Last Drop of Ink

She is there before the crossing, waiting not as an ending, but as one who remembers the way.

You recognize her immediately, though she has changed, or perhaps it is you who now sees more clearly. Your body has grown quiet behind you, like a house you once lived in with great devotion, the effort to move now too much, the stillness a comfort to your soul.

You turn, just for a moment, to see yourself. There is tenderness there, no regret.

Crow Woman stands beside you, not above, not beyond, beside. “You did well,” she says, and this time you hear her as sound, as warmth, as home. All the questions you carried fall gently from your hands, like leaves that no longer need their branch.

Was it enough? Did I love well? Did I miss something essential?

“Nothing true is ever lost,” she says. With one soft sweep of her wing, the questions dissolve into stillness.

“What was given in love remains, shaping the air it touched, leaving a living imprint long after the words have faded.” You feel it then, not as memory, but as presence. Every moment you thought had passed stands now beside you, alive, luminous, woven into a vast and breathing tapestry.

There are others here. Not approaching, not arriving, but simply revealing themselves as if they had always been just beyond your sight. You know them by a resonance that recognizes itself. Those who have gone before you stand waiting to greet you.

They do not ask you to explain your life. They do not measure or weigh. They open. And in that opening, you feel yourself expand, beyond the edges you once called “me,” beyond the story you worked so carefully to write.

Crow Woman steps forward once more, her form both bird and woman and something older still. The quill now lifts, rises, becomes light. “You are not leaving,” she says. “You are joining. The page was never separate from the book. The breath was never separate from the wind.”

You feel yourself becoming, not ending. There is a sound here, like wind moving through what has no form…The boundaries soften. The ink of your life spreads outward, merging with a greater script that is still being written, in songs still being sung.

And as you cross, gently guided by those who have waited for you, you sense her beside you one last time, not as guide now, but as kin. You look back and see the pages of your life resting open behind you—the words you chose, the ones you struggled over, the places where the ink ran wild, and the places where at last you learned to let it be.  Only one small drop remains.  

Crow Woman takes the quill gently from your hand. You understand now. There was always enough ink. Not enough to write every story, or change every ending, or finish the pages that belonged to someone else. But enough for yours.

She lowers the quill to the page and, with the last of the ink, places a single period after the final word.

Then she looks at you, and you remember.

And nothing more needs to be written.


Copyright 2026 by Rev. Anandha Ray


 "Dance has an extraordinary ability to communicate what words cannot.  There are experiences in life that live beyond language. We feel them deeply, yet cannot fully explain them. We know them in our bodies long before we can name them with our minds. Dance has always been one of humanity’s most powerful ways of expressing these unspoken experiences. It reaches beyond the linear thinking mind and speaks directly through movement, sensation, emotion, and presence."......Anandha Ray



The Story of Crow Woman (1 & 2) by Anandha Ray

 


It was my great pleasure to meet Priestess, renowned Dancer and Choreographer, Storyteller and Artist  Anandha Ray when she took my "Masks of the Goddess" workshop the past 2 years. In the course of those workshops she made two remarkable masks, masks that emerged with a personae she called "Crow Woman".  Anandha has very kindly shared the story she wrote about Crow Woman with me, and gave me permission to share it in this Blog.   "Crow Woman" is wise indeed, and her story speaks powerfully to me, as I know it will to many.  Please visit her website to learn more about her work, her classes and workshops with her troupe Quimera, and her performances.  "With a lifetime of experience in dance, she is internationally critically acclaimed for her work, propelling the art to new realms. Anandha has created a connection of the soul through movement. Walking this path secretly as a professional choreographer, she didn’t talk about spirituality, but just did the work.  “Spiritual” and “sacred” are words that are so charged in the professional world they are shunned. But, without saying so, Anandha’s work dove deeply in the level of the healing arts in performance." 

"Dance has an extraordinary ability to communicate what words cannot.  There are experiences in life that live beyond language. We feel them deeply, yet cannot fully explain them. We know them in our bodies long before we can name them with our minds. Dance has always been one of humanity’s most powerful ways of expressing these unspoken experiences. It reaches beyond the linear thinking mind and speaks directly through movement, sensation, emotion, and presence."......Anandha Ray

                                                The Story of  Crow Woman
                                                         By Reverend Anandha Ray

Part I: The Threshold

On the edge of the world, where the wind tangles itself in the bones of old trees, Crow Woman waits. Her feathers are black as ink and shimmer with the colors of forgotten sunsets. She does not come when called. She comes when the seasons inside you change, when the world grows quiet in your marrow, and the mirror begins to show not just your face but the map of every year you have carried.

At first, she does not speak. She only watches with obsidian eyes that see the life behind your life, what you gave away, what you clung to, what you let slip through your fingers while you were busy being everything to everyone. In her gaze, you feel time itself pause. You feel seen in a way that cannot be hidden from or explained away. It is a seeing that asks nothing, yet reveals everything. She has brought with her the Crone’s threshold. You enter this sacred turning where the future is no longer endless, and you can feel the pages of your life shifting in the wind.

When she finally speaks, her voice sounds like light moving through air. “The chapters ahead are few,” she will say, “but they are yours to shape. Each moment now must be chosen as if it is your last brushstroke on the canvas of your soul.” She places a single black feather in your hand, heavier than it should be, as if it carries the weight of all the days left to you.

Crow Woman is not here to mourn what has passed; she is here to command your attention. She reminds you that you are not finished, only refined. This is the hour to decide what your name will mean when it is only spoken in memory, the time to plant what will bloom long after you are gone. She whispers, “Make your legacy on purpose. Leave beauty behind you like a trail of luminous threads.” You feel something in you shift, a quiet knowing taking root where doubt once lived. You understand, even if only faintly, that this moment matters more than the ones before it.

In her gaze, you feel time itself pause, and you know she has come because you have entered the Crone’s threshold, that sacred turning when the future is no longer endless, and every moment begins to carry the weight of meaning.

And then, as silently as she came, Crow Woman rises into the sky, leaving the echo of her cry in your chest. You feel it linger, a sound that does not fade but settles into you. You look down at the feather in your palm and see that it has become a quill, and there is still ink enough to write the last chapters well.

Part II: The Awakening

She came to you once, long before you knew to name her.

You were young then. You never noticed her. The world was wide and loud and full of becoming. You did not yet know the weight of time. You did not feel the moment her gaze settled, steady and certain, as if recognizing something in you that had not yet awakened.

But the crows knew.

Though you didn’t notice… they gathered at the edges of your days. On fence posts. In the high branches above your path. On rooftops where you would never think to look. They watched in stillness, in patience, moving along unseen currents just beyond your awareness.

Sometimes you noticed them. A sudden call that made you turn your head. A shadow passing where no bird should have been. A feeling, brief and unexplainable, that you were being witnessed by something that meant you no harm, yet saw far more than you understood. You brushed it away, returning to the urgency of becoming who you thought you were meant to be.

And still, they remained. They were there in the moments you nearly lost yourself. When you gave too much. When you followed paths that were never yours. When the world asked you to forget the quiet voice within you. They did not interfere. They did not change your path. They watched. They remembered. They held the shape of you, even when you could not.

There were moments when something began to stir within you. Not seen, but felt. A softening. A quiet shift in how you moved through the world. What once felt solid began to open. What once felt separate began to draw closer. You found yourself pausing, listening, sensing something just beneath the surface of things.

It did not arrive as a thought. It came as a knowing. Something within you was remembering. It rose slowly, from a place deeper than memory, deeper than story. A recognition carried in your body, in your breath, in the quiet inheritance of those who came before you. You began to feel the world not as something outside you, but as something you belonged to.

And with it came a truth that settled into your bones. You were never alone in your becoming. The one who came to you unbeknownst long ago, before you had words to name her, had already chosen you. To hold the memory of who you are, even when you forget. To remain just beyond your sight, through the eyes and wings of those who kept watch.

The crows were never just crows. They were the quiet presence of something that has always known you. And now, as this remembering takes hold, you feel it fully for the first time—

You have been seen.
You have been held.
You have been known… all along.

The quill is in your hand now, and you understand that its purpose is not to rewrite what has been, nor to reach beyond the edges of your own page. It is simply yours to write what remains. And when you stop spending its ink on what was never yours to shape, you discover there is no scarcity at all. There is more than enough ink for what is still yours to become, more than enough for the words only you can write, more than enough to finish your story well.

(visit the next Post to read Part III and Part IV)

Copyright 2026 Anandha Ray

Tuesday, September 8, 2026

"When We Were Very Old" - the poetry of Erica Swadley

 


"Swadley's poetry often moves me into a transcendent state of being 
or a deep belly laugh of joy. Can't stop reading her." 

Sharon Brady, artist

Recently my friend and one-time Collaborator Erica Swadley published a new collection of her poetry - the Title of the book, and the title poem, are called "When We Were Very Old".   The Collection of poems greets me in the morning, a meditation on the mysterious and yet intimate forces of spirit, or potent reflections on aging........and a few hysterically funny poems too!  Thank you Erica, I shall be diving into the depths of your beautiful poetry for a long time.  

Erica took the role of Sedna's Shaman in the 2004 Ritual Theatre Performance, "Restoring the Balance",  with the Masks of the Goddess and the extraordinary community of Tucson's artists, musicians and storytellers.  Erica is and has been for many years a poet, an artist, and a Shamanic Practitioner.  She's the real thing, and that multi-dimensional presence of ancestors  sings through her collection of poetry, along with her very wry sense of humor.  

Erica wrote, and graciously allowed me to share with many, the powerful Invocation of the Great Mother for that event, and it has travelled to many communities since then.  In fact, we used her same  Invocation to open the "Masks of the Goddess" performance in 2024 in Rochester, Minnesota. 

"When We Were Very Old" was recently published by Fathom Publishing, and may be purchased at other outlets, including Amazon.  Her Publisher has this to say:

"Erica Swadley was inspired by When We Were Very Young by A.A. Milne. She writes with just the right mix of playfulness and ecstasy. Her poems address the adventure of aging with humor, compassion and tenderness. As the author spends couch potato time recovering from various joint implants, she explores topics some people would rather not look at - such as loneliness and invisibility. She also makes clear that the elderly remain passionate, sensuous and engaged with life.......She is what in some cultures is known as a word-doctor, receiving information from ineffable sources, and acting as a vessel to let messages pour through." 


When We Were Very Old

Say what you want

about what I should be

but you won't really get it

till you're 83

pushing the edges. Of 84

a vacation adventure is a trip to the store.

I've already forgotten

as I walk in the door

the things that I thought

I couldn't do without.

I settled for Franks and Sauerkraut.

I looked for my car in the parking lot

it's Arizona white so it was hard to spot.

I climbed into a Honda that looked like mine

the Chihuahua bit me

but I'm feeling fine.

To ward him off  I gave him some franks

I was licked all over in slobbery thanks.

I'm headed home, for lunch and a nap

ageing's not for sissies,

so shut your trap.

                                             

                                       The Invitation

The grandmothers are circling.

In the Heaven worlds.

Responding to my call.

Pleased to be remembered,

honored with their names.

Glad to be needed again 

to be part of the future

not just traces of the past.

I see them with their strengths

their foibles turned to assets.

Their trials become wisdom.

I feel their warm hands on my shoulders

I want to give them flowers, and brush their hair.

I want to sit on their laps to hear their stories.

I want to try on their fancy hats,

and cook wearing magic aprons.

We'll gather often now that the call has been sent out.

I sleep more deeply knowing

I am safe and not alone.

Grandmothers are the precious fruit

on the family tree, the tree with deep roots.

And sheltering branches under the sky canopy. 

 From "When We Were Very Old" (2026)

 

                                         

Deep Inside

Deep inside of us

there is a river.  

Keep watch over it.  

Guard its banks.

Filled with tears of pain and sadness

spilled throughout our lives,

its waters are sacred,

dark, fathomless,

following fields grown

stark, lying fallow.

We need restore old hurts,

ride the rapids,

celebrate love, not

hide from the past.

The headwaters flow

from the heart.

Deep inside of us

there is a river. 

From "When We Were Very Old" (2026)

"Erica's poems reveal messages from her soul to you, that are revealed through her observations of the world that surrounds her, often with humor. These observations are rich descriptions that come from her years as a visual artist. Her poems are paintings. She reveals her emotional life subtly, often mirroring your own. Her poems resonate deeply, one poem leads you to read another and another."

Pat Dolan: artist, author of Stalking the Sacred and The Angels Made Me Do It

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Mass of the Blood Moon Eclipse 2026

 

Lunar Eclipse, photo by Howard Brannen


The Lunar Eclipse will be happening tonight, Thursday, August 27.......it will be what is called a "blood moon" eclipse because of it's copper colored effect.  Here in Arizona (MST) we can witness the eclipse at 7:30– Partial eclipse, and by 9:00 PM it will be the maximum eclipse  showing the dark reddish-brown hue.  By 11:00 it will be finished.  

Poet Denise Levertov imagined the Eclipse as not a phenomena, but as a  Mass, a celestial event that moves us all in its orbit into the sacred, and the mystic.  



MASS OF THE MOON ECLIPSE

Not more slowly than frayed human attention can bear
but slow enough to be stately, deliberate, 
a ritual we can't be sure will indeed move
from death into resurrection.

As the bright silver inch by inch 
is diminished, options vanish,
life's allurements. 
the last silver lies face down, back hunched, a husk.

But then, obscured, the whole sphere can be seen
to glow from behind its barrier shadow: 
bronze, unquenchable, blood-light. 
And slowly,
more slowly than desolation overcame, 
overtook the light, the light
is restored, outspread in a cloudless pasture of
spring darkness where firefly planes
fuss to and fro,
and humans turn off their brief attention
in secret relief.

No matter:  the Rite contains its power, 
whether or not our witness rises toward it;
grandeur plays out the implacable drama
without even flicking aside our trivial absence, 
the impatience with which we fail to respond.

                And yet
we are spoken to, and 
we do stop, do, 
do give ourselves leave
to listen, to watch.  The moon,
the moon we do after all love,
is dying, are we to live
on a world without moon?
We swallow a sour terror.  

Then that coppery sphere, no-moon
become once more
full-moon, visible in absence.
And still without haste,
silver increment by silver increment,
the familiar, desired, disregarded brilliance
is given again,

given and given.

 

Denise Levertov, "Mass of the Moon Eclipse"
from This Great Unknowing:  Last Poems
1999, New Directions Press