Thursday, May 14, 2015

Empaths and Energy Theft Revisited

Synchronistically, I received a comment from someone (below) addressed to a post I wrote back in 2011 about Empaths and Energy protection. It moved me to re-post the article, realizing that I need to read it again myself.  I'm looking forward to the chance to be alone this summer, and to replenish my energies and revive my creativity.  I have always pretty much known I'm an empath.  

"How do you deal with those who are energetically parasitic? It seems like you and a couple other sources, seem to defend people who make choices to take on a victim mentality, and use manipulative tactics to steal energy and attention. I agree these people obviously lack love, but to some extent they need to realize that and take necessary steps towards healing, and emotional people like us chose to do. Hard to support their habits...hard to understand why we support their victim mentality drain....please explain. Much love to you."
May 4, 2015 

I don't feel I defend people who take on a victim mentality or exhaust the life force of others by  any means.........when I can, I try to avoid them.  That's not always possible - in family situations, caretaker situations, and many other circumstances we are often thrown into contact with people who drain the life out of you.  I have  a family member who is a drug addict, for example.   Our society in general may have aspects to it that actively support "psychic vampirism"........ certainly rampant capitalism and consumerism is about exploitation, opportunism, addiction and manipulation.  All forms, in my opinion, of "vampirism".

But  I do believe that most people are unconscious of their motives, drives, attractions, or even needs.   Self-awareness requires work, breaking old familial patterns requires effort, and sometimes to break those patterns requires a fair amount of education and the help of good therapy, as well as seeing through social patterns that often support negative behavior in order to come to terms with one's "shadow side".  No one wants to admit that they are draining others, that they are dependant on others attention and energy, that they don't care about the well being of another as long as they are being "fed", that they are manipulating others, that they are destructive because of jealousy, addiction, etc.

The ability to change, to mature into real conscience and self actually something only exceptional people are able to do. 

I know that sounds harsh, but I am tending to feel that the drift of our culture is increasingly away from self-examination, conscience, and empathy.  The "disposibility" of our world has made that so.  How else can such a vast population be uninterested in climate change, in the loss of endless species, in the destruction that future generations much live with?  This is true in social relations as well.

As far as the energy draining "victim stance", I think also that is also often  socially condoned.  And of course it's necessary to make a distinction between people who are genuinely victimized by circumstances and in genuine  need of healing and empowerment.

I'm talking about people who are  "vampires" because of their unconcious dedication to seeing themselves as "victims".  Which can not only be a ploy for exploiting the energy reserves of others, but  is also somewhat socially accepted.  If you are a "victim" you don't need to take responsibility for what you do or what happens to you, because it's "not your fault".  Such people remain dependant children, unable to move forward - but they rarely are able to understand that process.  You can get a lot of mileage from others by being a "victim", and you can also belong to victim social clubs that reinforce the sanctity of your eternally wounded position.  If someone rejects you, it's because they are "unkind" and lack empathy.........and empaths are the best source of energy!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Intuitive Empaths and Energy Theft

 I've come to believe, experientially  more than conceptually,  that mind is more than the physical body and brain, and that we are far more connected with each other, and our planet,  than we can personally imagine. We are  very permeable, indeed we have to be so, because we are constantly exchanging life force with the planet and everyone who has ever lived with every breath we take; exchanging energy and information with each step we take and every word we utter. The exchange and negotiation of energy is the fundamental dance of life. 

Most people value empathy, the ability to sense and often emotionally experience, or resonate with, what others are feeling.   Empathic individuals are usually compassionate people, sensitives who often become healers, teachers, and profound listeners.  Highly empathic people have excellent "antennas" - if they have experience and discernment, they can scan the emotional and psychic environment  and determine what is going on beneath the surface.  If they don't, they can  absorb energy that is not their own unwittingly.   

I believe this skill of discernment takes time to mature, and an empathic child or unskilled person can often become overwhelmed.  Because being empathic can also be detrimental, overwhelming, and even life threatening, and is one of the reasons sensitive people often become alcoholics or recluses in order to "tune out the noise".  Highly empathic people, what Dr. Judith Orloff calls "intuitive empaths", can be like velcro - everything sticks to them.  

People are always discharging emotional energy. Children scream in anger, cry in frustration, and laugh with pleasure when their needs are met, and so do adults, if not always as obviously. Sometimes it's absolutely necessary to tell our stories, to have our pain witnessed by compassionate others in order to change, to "fore-give", to let go of the trauma and move fore-ward in our lives.  But some people have become addicted to dumping negative emotional energy on others, and they can leave an empathic individual drained, or feeling scattered and crazy from absorbing their energy.  This can be true of collective energies as well. 

I don't like the term "psychic vampires" because of its judgemental terminology.  It implies that dreadful, inhuman people are stalking the streets, ready to suck up all of your lifeforce, when the fact is, most of us have at various times in our lives been draining or exhausting.    Sometimes people are energy draining because they are, in Buddhist terms, unskillful in their understanding of how to manage their own energy systems, in how to manage their thoughts and social interactions in other words.  Many people are energetically exhausting because they have become addicted to complaining, or have adopted a "victim" life stance, which can be addictive as well as socially supported.   Carolyn Myss spoke about what she called a "culture of woundology" as a related issue.   

Some people have learned, as children, negative ways of achieving attention, which is a form of energy theft if it's not willingly given.  I had an acquaintance I worked with who could be absolutely relentless in demanding attention, to the point where otherwise calm, poised people would "lose it" around him.  Including day I found myself screaming at him at the top of my lungs.  It was at that moment I noticed he was smiling blissfully - and I painfully saw, briefly,  a small child who had found the only way he knew to get attention. 

And many people are just plain worn out, ill, grieving, troubled by misfortune,  or elderly, and haven't got a lot of personal energy.  That doesn't make them "vampires".  That often makes them people in need of a little understanding and kindness.

True psychic vampires, I believe, are rare.  About 10 years ago, I broke my leg, and was confined to a wheelchair for 4 months.  It happened that I was offered a couch in a friends studio, which was in a lovely complex that had other studios, a few shops, and a chiropractor's office, so people were always coming and going, which I enjoyed.  But because so much of my energy was going into mending my broken bones, and I often felt weak, I became quite sensitive to how interactions with others affected me.  Some people were like bright lights - I felt enlivened when they entered the room.  Most were neutral.  But there was one woman I'll never forget.   Although she was a fascinating woman, who ironically was a practicing psychic, every time she came by  I'd be flat on my back afterwards, sometimes all day.   I don't know if I would have realized her "vampire" effect so clearly, had I not been in a sensitive lowered energy state because of my recovery.   What made her like that?  I can't possibly know, although I would bet it arises from some kind of traumatic childhood. 

So once again thanks to my friend Charlie Spillar for a great video by Dr. Judith Orloff.

Judith Orloff MD, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA and intuition expert, is author of the New York Times Bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Three Rivers Press, 2011) Her other bestsellers are Positive EnergyIntuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes traditional medicine with cutting edge  energy medicine.  Her website is:


Roll Cage Mary said...

As a past student of Caroline Myss and her school of thought regarding archetypes, I question the moral fundamentalism and religosity that interlace her teachings.

I prefer the word "taxing" when feeling depleted. In nature there is the remora fish, that attaches itself to other fish, boats and the occasional scuba diver, to hitch a free ride, gain protection and feed on the scraps. Some people operate like remora and can delay you...until you learn to feed them the scraps
and not waste the pretty.

Parasitology yields knowledge about the lesser known and obscure totemic forces.

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

Great articles! There are several kinds of empaths - the parasitic types; the ones who genuinely feel what you feel, ache as you ache; and then there are planetary empaths. This type is so attuned to the earth that the individual's experience terrible physical symptoms days or weeks before a global disaster.

Lauren Raine said...

Thanks to both of you for your comments and your insights........the subject has many facets. Would like to pursue further the points made in both comments.

PonderSeekDiscover said...

There are also two types of parasite: mutually symbiotic, such as zooxanthalae which live in and greatly benefit corals and non-mutually symbiotic such as the remora referenced above. I have argued, by way of Will Tiller's work, that humans exist in a mutually symbiotic relationship with the cosmos.

The fine-tuning required for the emergence of life defies probability theory; this is why scientists invoke the multi-verse (they seem a bit more comfortable with the multi-verse than spider woman). But if the cosmos has a distinct final condition, as indicated by many of the wisdom traditions, then the fine-tuning and the emergence of intelligent life is a manifestation of "backwards" causation; intelligent life has emerged at this point in time because the final condition of the cosmos demands it - mutual symbiosis! Or perhaps we just serve the cosmos (Spider Woman) . . . This would explain "God's" final message to it's creation as revealed in the fourth book of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker trilogy: "Sorry for the inconvenience . . ."