Solitude: A Synchronicity, and a House Made of Doors

"The Hermit" card from The Rainbow Bridge Oracle by Lauren Raine

I seem to have become a Hermit these days,  because of Covid 19, but also I think because of  a kind of withdrawal from the busy world into my interior world.  Increasingly I feel a passage into the contemplative life.    Having said that,  it feels sometimes like I am often walking backwards, not going forward as I used to be, but instead walking backward through the doors of memory, which seem to shutter open at the oddest moments.  

Sometimes a memory from long ago will arise as I water the garden, or pull on the ugly, comfortable socks that only an old lady could love, and at that moment  I see things that happened that I was too "busy" to notice at the time,  bits of this life that seem to call for attention.  Some of those flashes of memory were  magical gifts, unseen help along the way, sometimes they were wounds that needed healing or integration but never really got it, and from this perspective farther up the trail, I even see now as gifts as well, gifts of experience that matured or deepened me.   In the end, I think gratitude is what we have to find for all of it, the whole story with all of its various colors and shapes.  

A line from a poem I wrote:    "Sometimes I can see the Pattern,  

                                                  Sometimes I am the Pattern" *

So here is just a small thread from that tapestry that has become "Lauren Raine", and I think it's about time I told it.  Because it really happened and I can prove it!

In the early 90's I was a professional Tarot reader,and I also was creating my own Tarot deck, which eventually became the Rainbow Bridge Oracle.  I used people I knew as the models for many of the cards, and with the Tarot card "The Hermit" (which I subtitled "Solitude") I used a photo of myself.  The card has always been important to me, as my own interpretation of "The Hermit" has to do with the journey through the dark - those dark nights of the soul, or those hard, painful experiences that test us in life's journey.  This image, of a figure in the darkness bearing a flame represents, like the old woman Hecate leading the maiden Persephone through Hades, a pathfinder illuminating the way through the dark tunnels into the living world . 

What I feel is important about this image is not only that we must make that dark journey seemingly in solitude and alone, but further, when we emerge, we need to share what has been learned with others, helping to light the paths of others  with the wisdom we have gained.  It is, in that sense, also about what Joan Halifax called the shamanic "Journey of the Wounded Healer".   My intention in creating the painting for the card was a call to the Querant to  help others with what you have gained, to "Become a light bearer".

After completely 5 or 6 of the paintings for the series, all of which were small paintings only 14" x 8",  I decided to make color xeroxes of them in order to make a presentation.  In 1993 color xeroxes were still pretty expensive and the technology was not as refined as it is now.  I was living more or less in the country and had to drive 20 miles to the nearest print shop.   Everything went fine until I  xeroxed "The Hermit" -  for some strange reason, the machine only copied a very small section of the painting.  I called the owner over and it did it again - although finally we were able to get it to xerox the entire painting.  

Much later I looked at what the machine had actually chosen to copy, and I was amazed:

* Excerpt from "A House of Doors" (1987)

To Hear the poem as spoken word performance:  
https://soundcloud.com/user-972033003/a-house-of-doors-1987

An onion,

that's it.  All those layers. 

Just when you think you can name yourself,

you discover new layers,

you’re forming a new skin,

a new ring.

But there's a core.

And where does that core start? 

This room I live in.

These walls.

They seem to be getting thin.

I can almost see through them today.

Sometimes I can see the Pattern,

Sometimes I am the Pattern.

Today I feel, I feel like a Chinese box,

one inside of another. 

I consider a state of grace:

I think

I think I may be the gate

that opens into another room

made of clouds

or sky

or something I can't name.

Sometimes, you open a door 

and you have to walk outside

into something tender,

like a touch on a winter night

into a quiet yard

because of a voice that you hear

    

     or a bell

     or a train

     pulling away somewhere.

Lauren Raine 1987

Michael - a Synchronicity

The painting above is an unfinished painting that has been dominating my studio for some 2 years now. *** For some reason I just can't finish it, but I do love it.  It is dedicated to Archangel Michael.  The painting is life size, and although I can't seem to resolve it all, I love the face, and sometimes, I swear, I really do feel Michael is looking at me.  I wanted to paint Michael not as some great Renaissance era archetype with huge  wings and a flaming sword, but as He might manifest as a human, perhaps as a beautiful young man with intense eyes,  sitting at a table drinking coffee......and at the same time as He abides in unimaginable grandeur between the stars themselves.  I hope He's pleased with my humble efforts to honor him.    Sometimes the expression seems like a smile, warm and amused.  Other times, it seems the face of  an implacable warrior.  For me it changes, and I confess, I often find myself talking to Michael.  The painting gives me a focus.  

I don't know what Archangels are, and I'm not Christian.  But for many years I have invoked, and requested the help,  of Michael, for protection, for healing for those beset by negative energies and entities, to send the earthbound souls  to the light,  to cleanse my home, to strengthen me and all those who are beset, or  seek to resist,  evil in whatever form it occurs.  Many times  have requested help from Michael to help a certain  family member beset by addiction, as well as to protect me from his emotional and psychic violence.  And I have seen this person change, miraculously.  So here is an "everyday miracle", a synchronicity I feel enchanted and blessed by.  

I found myself depressed the other morning, overwhelmed once again by the ugliness and corruption of what is going on in this country now.  The usual negation settled over me like a cloud, it often goes like this  "why make art when there is such horror and suffering in the world?  What hope is there for anything now, old woman, who is going to care whether you make ceramic Goddesses or not?"  Yes, we all have those defeating, malevolent voices in our heads.

Feeling sorry for myself, I noticed, exactly placed in front of the door, a perfect feather.  It was maybe 7:00 in the a.m., and I had to laugh........because I often find mysterious feathers in strange places, and I have come to feel that they are a sign, an "angelic" sign.  Encouragement.  Later in the day, I saw that someone had called me at 7:30 in the morning, which was unusual.  It was my old friend Michael S., from California. 

Michael calls me about once every 5 years or so!  We talk on the rare occasions I visit him in California, and exchange a rare email now and then.  Recently, I posted some photos of a new series of ceramic mosaic sculptures I'm undertaking, with a bit of trepidation because they are ambitious.  Michael, who in many ways I always felt lived up to his name, had called to tell me that he had an image about my efforts, that he saw me doing a big mosaic sculpture on a wall!  Always practical, he added that I probably could make some money doing that.

I definately feel encouraged, and I'll take this as not only the encouragement of a friend, but a Celestial Encouragement as well!

*** Two years later (4/15/2020) I can say now that I did finish the painting (it's above), framed it, and put it in my living room with a spot light.  Sometimes I swear the expression on Michael's face seems to change............

The Michael Invocation by  Ama Nazra 


Archangel Michael,
Remove all attachments from me,
All negative energy forms,
All negative thought forms,
All heavy energy forms.
All intruders and mischief makers,
All astral forces and dominants,
All small demons and large demons,
including succubus and incubus.
All living humans who try to steal my energy,
Or do me any other harm,
Find all humans in Spirit who are Lost around me,
and take them Home.
Remove all threads and bindings
All cords and ties
All chains and devices of any kind
All curses and hexes on any level
And all karmic patterns which are 'self'-defeating
And karmic links that are no longer needed
Return me to my perfect energy now please

I ask this in the name of the Divine,
Thank you.


Where it came from ...

I've been using and adapting the Michael Invocation for the past fifteen years as a means of clearing people's energy, and the energy of their homes and other buildings. The Invocation has changed over time, as the situations people have found themselves in have become more difficult to manage, or more complicated to understand. It has never failed to provide relief on many levels - though the relief will only continue if a person chooses not to repeat the old patterns of behaviour that first got them haunted.

The above is by  Ama Nazra  from the website Sacred Gates/Victorian Paranormal Connection.  Please visit the link below to read more:

  http://www.victorianparanormalconnection.com.au/MichaelInvocation.html

Syncronicity and the Butterfly Man

In the process of researching something, I ran across these photos from 2003 in my file, and felt like quickly sharing this lovely synchronicity story before I forget it.

I used to be friends with the inspired, visionary, and very eccentric, founder of the Butterfly Gardener's Association in California, Alan Moore. Alan is the one who got me so interested in Butterfly syncronicities, which seem to be a world-wide phenomenon, and we shared a number of events together, including marching together in San Francisco against the war in 2003 (there were 300,000 people in the streets, just like I remember it was in 1970, when I marched against Vietnam. An amazing thing to see, if sad to see it repeated. And Alan, I, and his lady friend, Nicole, were fortunate to be right at the very front of the march. Once again, with 30 years between, I heard Joan Baez sing. )

I wore the Mask of Sophia, Goddess of Wisdom, whose emblem is the dove. Alan brought his "Butterflies not Bombs" banner. The picture above was from the San Francisco Chronicle, where we appeared with our "Icons". What makes this a synchronicity is that Nicole (with her back turned to the camera) was locally famous as well for her "Cosmic Cash", which she created and passed out to everyone wherever she went. It says "One Love, One World" on the other side.

Notice the "cash" sign on the right of the photo at top? I think Nicole's "Icon" was in the Peace News that day as well.