Meanderings on Mortality and Creativity

"Green Heart Icon"

 I've been in the hospital having a tumor removed...........that sounds so dramatic, but it's not really.  It's a long process of visiting doctors, X-rays, waiting, researching,  etc.  I've been aware of the situation for almost a year, and it's one of the reasons I went to Glastonbury. There is nothing like the prospect of a life-threatening disease to put things in perspective, and quickly!   Everything is colored with a light more brilliant, sweeter,  revealing how precious each fragment is, each memory, each familiar voice, object, taste.  When it seems that that familiarity, that stream of thoughts, contacts, experiences we call our lives may be endangered, the privilege of it all taken away in the forseeable future...........one's priorities change quickly.

My friend Ro has come up with the term "SWE" - stupid waste of energy.  You evaluate where the power leaks and "SWE"'s are.

Anyway, I've been in a kind of stasis, waiting to find out.  Now the tumor is removed, and my biopsy is really good.  That was the news I got on 11-11-11, and I can't help but think that's a very  magical day indeed to get the "go-ahead" with a new year! I'll take it!

My great gratitude to my friends,  who so generously offered me their prayers and encouragement........it would have been so much harder without you.

One of the things I meditated on as the scary day of surgery approached (11-9-11) was creativity.  Creativity, and our unique expressive gifts in life, which come down to the same thing.  One is the eternal, seamless source, the other the mortal (and hence not immortal)  means.

Creativity, to me, is the Divine made visible.  When we are Makers, the Divine expresses through each of us, whether we're making a mathematical theorem or a new recipe for lemon cake.  How can anyone look at an orchid, shamelessly pretending, in the hope of being pollinated, that it is a beautiful bevy of  magenta tipped butterflies in flight......without seeing the Goddess at Her easel? Without appreciating the gorgeous humor, and creative intelligence, behind all things visible? 

When I was a kid in a long-ago Bible class, I had an "ah-ha" experience.  I could not understand the "God" that was so often put before me as we plowed through the Book,  a God of terrible vengence. Even now, I shudder to think of children internalizing some of these stories as divinely inspired. How about this, for example, from the Holy Book?

"And  the Lord spake unto Moses, saying "Avenge the children of Israel"..............and Moses said unto them, "Have ye saved all the women alive?.......Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.  But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."    Num. XXXI, 1-18

I remember reading this, and trying to fathom how the noble Moses, made so visible by Charleton Heston delivering the Commandments......could be involved in what was actually being described here. 

All those women, old ladies, babies  and little boys hacked up with swords,  the little girls carried off to be raped, sanctified by "God" and His prophet.   How could I reconcile this horror?   Other options were needed.

And how sad that a fragmented history of the bloody genocide practiced in ancient battles, fought beneath the banner of a tribal war god sometimes called Yahwah........should appear within the same book as  "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you" (Luke 6:27).  Or, and this passage, a favorite of mine, which is not from the Bible at all, but rather from the long hidden Nag Hammedi Gospels, attributed to the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas (the Twin)*** :

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.  If you do not bring forth what is within you,  what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

There it is!  The Divine Creative Force, expressing in everything and everyone. Early Christians called it "gnosis", knowledge of God within.   Joseph Campbell called it your personal  "bliss"......... it's the joy of creation,  and if we bring it forth, it energizes and informs and expands our lives.  If not, the energy contracts, turns self-destructive, dark, stagnant.  Maybe, that's even one of the places tumors can come from.

Be that as it may, I think it's so important to not "give your power away", which can mean appreciating, in fact thoroughly enjoying, the gifts that life has put on your banquet plate.

There's a wonderful passage in the ancient Sumarian stories of the goddess Inanna where she goes to visit Enki, the head of the Gods.  In a celebratory mood, he calls forth some heavenly beer, and the two get drunk together.   Enki gives Inanna many empowerments or gifts (called a "me") -  from the art of sexual seduction to the governing of cities to the making of cheese. At a Witchcamp I attended this cycle was ritually enacted.  As  Enki offered each "me" (I always found that ancient word for gift or power interesting), Starhawk, in the role of Inanna, said loudly with conviction and gusto:

"I'll take it!"

I think that's what you have to do, and it's not always easy.  There are so many forces that discourage both creativity and talent  - one does not necessarily get love or acceptance for being "gifted".   I think of my own small dysfunctional family, and the kind of "dumbing down" I've always had to do in order to be tolerated by my envious brothers, who felt that any form of success on my part somehow diminished them. I've seen this operate in groups as well, groups that do not know how to facilitate or address this unconscious collective shadow aspect (a friend who prefers to remain anonymous calls it the "mediocrity prerequisite").    I do not mean to sound harsh, but many people live in toxic spheres where they are being energetically rewarded for being stupid, uncreative, or a "victim", and punished for not being so.  For not using their divine "Me"'s.  And I guarantee that if you live that way long enough, you will demand the same currency from others.   It can take a long time to heal.........

Well..........I have a lot to be grateful for this coming Thanksgiving.  Most of all, all the inspiring people I've been privileged to encounter who are busy expressing the Divine Creative Force***** joyfully - may we all, like Inanna, loudly proclaim:  "I'll take it!"

****  Elaine H. Pagels further commented that: 


"The Gospel of Thomas also suggests that Jesus is aware of, and criticizing the views of the Kingdom of God as a time or a place that appear in the other gospels. Here Jesus says, "If those who lead you say to you, 'look, the Kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds will get there first. If they say 'it's in the ocean,' then the fish will get there first. But the Kingdom of God is within you and outside of you. Once you come to know yourselves, you will become known."........Here it says, "It's inside you but it's also outside of you." It's like a state of consciousness. It's hard to describe. But the Kingdom of God here is something that you can enter when you attain gnosis, which means knowledge.....The secret of gnosis is that when you know yourself at that level you will also come to know God, because you will discover that the divine is within you." 

Read more: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/religion/story/thomas.html#ixzz1dtGPBd2t

**** Here's a link to Cultural Creatives TV - enjoy.

"A Small Act" Movie

I sponsor a little girl in Nepal through Plan International,   a non-denominational children's sponsorship program, as well as assisting village girls in Nepal to remain in school through the Nepal Youth Foundation. I love this film because it reminds us of the great good a simple act can do. 

Catherine Nash

"Vespica" by Catherine Nash (www.catherinenash.com)

 I wanted to introduce a long-time friend of mine, and a truly visionary artist, Catherine Nash.  Catherine has achieved international recognition as a paper, and encaustic,  artist, and has taught internationally for many years, gathering friends and fans along the way.  She's currently fundraising for a matching grant that will, if she meets her quota by the deadline, allow her to pursue her project Contemporary Paper and Encaustic, an e-publication surveying international artists who integrate paper and encaustic in innovative and inspiring works. 

 "My focus is to present artworks that push the boundaries of paper and encaustic while simultaneously creating a relevant contribution to the contemporary art world."I think it will be an important book, one that will further artistic community as well as inspiring many students and colleagues."

Here's where you can find out about her project, watch an informal video, and contribute if you feel moved to:

http://www.unitedstatesartists.org/project/contemporary_paper_and_encaustic_international_trends

I've been a fan of Catherine's for many years, ever since we met in graduate school at the University of Arizona.

Catherine has always, I think, been looking up - Among my favorite of her recent works are  "Secret Skies".

"Sky Within" by Catherine Nash

"The sky holds the ultimate touchstone for me, representing the infinite, a spaciousness, the big mystery.  Looking out into space brings levity and perspective to my day....I need a reminder that we are tiny beings on a continent, on a spinning planet, in a solar system, within one galaxy among multitudinous galaxies.  Levity.  May I carry that around with me, please? Secret Skies are a recent series of artist books: paintings of the sky are created within a closable wooden box, game board or the like. I am playing with a physical way of bottling up, translating, of trying to comprehend the unfathomable with a bit of humor."

"Have portable sky, will travel~"

"Navigation by Night"

Invoking Creativity

 

I learned to turn my creativity over to the only god I could believe in, the god of creativity, the life force Dylan Thomas called "the force that through the green fuse drives the flower."  I learned to get out of the way and just let that creative force work through me."

Julia Cameron, "The Artist's Way"

Image courtesy Catherine Nash

 "The position of the artist should be humble.  He is essentially a  channel."

Piet Mondrian

"We are the Great Work of Art in progress.  We, ourselves."

  Rafael Montanez Ortiz

Dreams of Half Dome

 

 The birds have vanished into the sky,
and now the last cloud drains away.

We sit together, the mountain and me,
until only the mountain remains.

Li Po (701-762) from The Enlightened Heart

Ansel Adams, "Half Dome and Moon"

I've been dreaming of mountains lately, of Yosemite, where I spent so many summers, climbing Half Dome, Half Dome Mountain Goddess,  who presides over the beloved valley.  Perhaps, I go there in my dreams sometimes, to see her blue in the moonlight, or white in snow, to touch her hot/cold granite face.  Here's another poem that came to mind today, thinking of mountain dreams,  by New Mexico poet Nancy Wood.



~My help is in the mountain~
 
    Where I take myself to heal
    The earthly wounds
    That people give to me.
    I find a rock with sun on it
    And a stream where the water runs gentle
    And the trees which one by one give me company
    And so I must stay for a time
    Until I have grown from the rock
    And the stream is running through me
    And I cannot tell myself from one lone tree.
    Then I will know that nothing touches me
    Nor makes me run away.
    My help is in the mountain
    That I take away with me.

    Earth cure me.  Earth receive my woe.
    Rock strengthen me.  Rock receive my weakness.
    Rain wash away my sadness.  Rain receive my doubt.
    Sun make sweet my song. 
   
      ~Nancy Wood~
from Hollering Sun (1972)

The Day of the Dead - Día de los Muertos

Mariachi Wedding from All Soul's Procession, Tucson

© dominic arizona bonuccelli | AZFOTO

Dia de los Muertos 

Because I live in the Southwest, the Day of the Dead is widely celebrated, and Tucson is no slacker, with it's famous Day of the Dead Procession.  I felt like sharing a little article about it.

Día de los Muertos is on November 2nd, with celebrations beginning on November 1, (Día de Muertos Chiquitos--The Day of the Little Dead) ( also All Saints Day) and continuing on November 2, (All Souls Day). It is a joyous occasion when the memory of ancestors and the continuity of life is celebrated, and a beloved holiday in Mexico and South America.

Dia de los Muertos Altar I made in 2009 for Wesley Seminary

It was believed that at this time of the year the souls of the departed can return to visit the living (the "veils are thin"). It is not a time of mourning since, as the Latin saying goes, "the path back to the living world must not be made slippery by tears".

Celebrations for the dead originated in indigenous Mexico before the Spanish conquest. Following the Spanish conquest of Mexico during the 16th century there was a blending of indigenous customs with the new Catholic religion. All Saints' Day and All Hallows Eve (Halloween) roughly coincided with the preexisting Día de Los Muertos resulting in the present day event. Although the skeleton is a strong symbol for both contemporary Halloween and los Días de Los Muertos, the meaning is very different. For Días de Los Muertos the skeleton is not a macabre symbol at all, but rather represents the dead playfully mimicking the living.

Very often, a large community altar may include many small personal shrines, such as this simple "box" shrine.

Or here are some personal shrines made by artists.

 

Preparation begins weeks in advance when statues, candies, breads and other items to please the departed are sold in markets. A sweet bread, pan de muerto, with decorations representing bones is very popular, as are sugar skulls made from casts. All sorts of art objects and toys are created. This gives the economy a boost in much the same way as our Christmas season does. Alters ofrecetas (offerings) are set up in the home with offerings of sweets and fruits, corn and vegetables, as well as the favorite foods and beverages of the deceased. It's not unusual to see a good cigar and whiskey bottle beside a photograph of a loved one. These offerings may later be given away or consumed by the living after their "essence", and the loving remembrance, has been enjoyed by the dead. Marigolds are the traditional decorative flower.

The particulars of the celebration vary widely. On November 1, Día de Muertos Chiquitos, the departed children are remembered. The evening is sometimes called la Noche de Duelo, The Night of Mourning, marked by a candlelight procession to the cemetery. On November 2, Día de los Muertos, the spirits of the dead return. Entire families visit the graves of their ancestors, bringing favorite foods and alcoholic beverages as offerings to the deceased as well as a picnic lunch for themselves. Traditionally there is a feast in the early morning hours of November 2nd although many now celebrate with an evening meal.

There are sugar skulls and toys for the children, emphasizing early on that death is a part of the life cycle, and the importance of remembering those who have passed on to another kind of life.

From Tucson's All Souls Procession (photo by Dominc Bonuccelli)

The Spiral Dance

Web Weaving at Tucson Spiral Dance (2000)

Weaver, Weaver, weave our thread
whole & strong into your web
Healer, Healer, heal our pain
in love may we return again

We are dark and we are light
we are born of earth and light
of joy and pain our lives are spun
male and female, old and young

No one knows why we are born
A web is made, a web is torn
But love is the home that we come from
and at the core we all are one

Of life's  Spring may we drink deep
and awake to dream and die to sleep
and dreaming weave another form
a shining thread of life reborn

Weaver, Weaver, weave our thread
whole and strong into your Web
Healer, Healer, heal our pain
in love may we return again

~~~Starhawk, (from "The Spiral Dance")

Blessings at Samhain to all as we celebrate the year passed, and remember our Beloved Dead.

My first "Spider Woman" performance (1999) Rites of Passage Gallery

The Wheel of the Year has turned again to a new Spiral Dance.  Samhain, Dia de Los Muertos, the Witches New Year, the last Harvest Festival, and Halloween (once known as "Hallowed Eve") is almost here, and I remember the Spiral Dance , which was so very transformative for me.  I brought this great Earth Religions High Mass to Tucson  when I returned here in 2000.   I've posted about this beautiful ritual before ...and I wanted to do so again.   Believe me, when you have danced the Spiral Dance and in the process of the dance come face to face with 2,000 people - you have experienced something profound.

I looked up "The Spiral Dance" on UTube, and was surprised by two things. First, up came a picture of my former roomate, and inspirational mentor, Judy Foster.  Judy was much loved in the Bay Area, as one of the founders of  Reclaiming, and also one of the founders of Food Not Bombs in Northern California.  She passed away in 2000, and when I brought the Spiral Dance to Tucson that year, with the help of Macha Nightmare (also one of the founders of Reclaiming)  who came to facilitate the ritual, we had a place of honor for Judy on our North Altar, the altar of the Beloved Dead.

Judy Foster  (1997)

Hecate Mask made from Judy Foster's face (2001)

There is no footage of the years I participated in the Ritual, unfortunately.  I assisted in the "Invocation to the Goddess" with my  first collection of the MASKS OF THE GODDESS .  I also put together a "Fire Dance Troupe" for the 20th Annual Spiral Dance in 1999 as we called the South, the Element of Fire.  I shall never forget that!  They didn't allow photographs of the Ritual until 2008, but in the video I did find I see friends and valued colleagues - Macha Nightmare, Evelie Posche, Starhawk, Kala, Drissana Devananda and  others. I wish I could attend this year, and I thank in spirit the many people I knew there.  May we meet again soon.

The Spiral Dance Ritual (2009 video) 

The Spiral Dance Ritual (2008 video)

Tucson SD

Arjuna